Help! She’s Broken And I Can’t Get Up!

Possibly in anticipation of having the world’s lustful gaze set upon it – the Brazilian government has decided it will come out its own pocket to replaced ruptured implants. Deus forbid, tourists from all over the world come for the Olympics and sex tourism, only to find a wasteland of broken tits and asses. The most sacred symmetry, ruined.

Yes, there are health risks involved, but most would figure if you have the privilege of tricking out your god given ride of the physical realm –  then you likely have the privilege to deal with the risks. Why put this bunda burden on the tax payer? These cosmetic changes are optional and provide zero health benefits outside an improvement in quality of life. That’s a very reasonable response, but in a place like Rio De Janeiro, the plastic surgery capital of the world – going under the scalpel for the aesthetic is a civil liberty. Us morbidly obese Americans will never understand; some of us(horrible people) are still pissed at the idea of robust government healthcare for all. This is partially why, in my expert opinion, the people of Brazil are much hotter than us. Kudos to Rouseff for recognizing the culture and fixing the cutlets.

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